Review: Dallas Buyers Club

Human Lives for Sale

By Chris Sabga

Release Date: November 22, 2013 – U.S. (wide)

Rating: R

Genre: Biography, Drama, History

Running Time: 117 minutes

Director: Jean-Marc Vallée

Writers: Craig Borten, Melisa Wallack

Cast: Matthew McConaughey, Jennifer Garner, 

Jared Leto, Steve Zahn, Griffin Dunne, 

Michael O'Neill

Matthew McConaughey has such an innate ability to charm that you can't help but like him even as his character makes vile homophobic slurs and acts like a loud, boorish redneck. He's not relying on his movie star good looks either; they have been stripped away completely. Now dozens of pounds lighter with bad brown hair and a bushy mustache, his appearance is almost skeletal.

"Dallas Buyers Club" tells the true story of Ron Woodroof (McConaughey), a good old boy from Texas who was diagnosed with HIV in 1985. Back then, HIV and AIDS were still considered "the gay cancer." But Woodroof is proudly, fiercely straight. The movie begins with him cracking jokes about Rock Hudson's homosexuality – the actor had just died from AIDS. With that mindset, Woodroof's own subsequent HIV+ diagnosis is a shock to his system. His friends certainly don't know how to handle it; they believe he must secretly be a "cocksucker." The only one who remains loyal to him is Tucker (the underrated Steve Zahn in a small role).

Experimental trials are beginning for a new HIV drug called AZT, but not everyone who needs it can get their hands on it; testing is strictly controlled. Given only 30 days to live, a desperate Woodroof approaches a sympathetic doctor, Eve Saks (Jennifer Garner), and begs her to let him buy the drug. She understands his plight but cannot accept his money; her hands are tied by medical laws and the FDA.

Woodroof uses his street smarts to get AZT smuggled out of the hospital. Originally intending to use it only on himself, his plans change after he meets a savvy transgender patient, Rayon (Jared Leto). Despite Woodroof's discomfort around Rayon, they go into business together to supply other people with HIV who need meds right away.

At first, the Dallas Buyers Club is just a means to an end: a way to make money and stay alive. But it soon becomes much more than that, especially when the validity of AZT comes into question. With the help of a medical practitioner in Mexico (played by Griffin Dunne) who lost his license in the States, Woodroof begins researching alternative treatments. One such drug, Peptide T, is not approved by the FDA despite being non-toxic. Another, Interferon, can only be prescribed by Japanese doctors.

My doctor looks like him.
Should I be worried?

The Buyers Club's biggest obstacles are Dr. Sevard (Denis O'Hare) and the FDA themselves. Sevard is a strictly by-the-books doctor who is concerned with his own profit margins and won't take even one step out of regulation. The FDA, represented here by Richard Barkley (Michael O'Neill, who memorably portrayed hospital shooter Gary Clark on "Grey's Anatomy"), does everything in its power to make sure its guidelines are enforced – even at the cost of human lives. Both parties go out of their way to prevent the Dallas Buyers Club from securing and supplying crucial medication to people with HIV. Jennifer Garner's Dr. Saks is caught in the middle: beholden to her boss but beginning to see the benefit the buyers clubs are having in both Dallas and other parts of the country.

Woodroof's transformation from homophobic hick to international businessman and medical researcher is fascinating to watch. Matthew McConaughey once again delivers a mesmerizing performance – in a year filled with interesting roles from him. Along with "Mud," he is doing some of the best work of his career right now. The real revelation here, however, is Jared Leto. I've always been a fan of his work, but he takes it to another level entirely with his sweet, touching, and sometimes heartbreaking portrayal of the transgendered Rayon. I cannot imagine a scenario where he doesn't get nominated for an Academy Award. McConaughey deserves one, too.

"Dallas Buyers Club" is a captivating portrait of another time and place – Dallas, Texas, in the mid-1980s – where AIDS was misunderstood and maligned, and help was all too rare for the people who so urgently needed it. Films like this remind us of how far we've come, and that bravery, progress, and change can originate from the unlikeliest of sources. 

Review: Parkland

50 Years After JFK's Assassination, The Story is Told From the Perspective of the Doctors and Nurses, FBI and Secret Service Agents, the Photographer, and the Oswald Family

By Chris Sabga

Release Date: October 4, 2013 – U.S.

Rating: PG-13

Genre: Drama, Mystery, Thriller

Running Time: 93 minutes

Director: Peter Landesman

Writers: Peter Landesman, 

Vincent Bugliosi (book)

Cast: James Badge Dale, Zac Efron, 

Marcia Gay Harden, Ron Livingston, 

Billy Bob Thornton, Jacki Weaver, 

Paul Giamatti

It has been 50 years since U.S. President John F. Kennedy was assassinated. Countless books, movies, documentaries, news reports, and conspiracy theories have emerged since that time. "Parkland" manages to tell the same story from a different perspective. It focuses on the peripheral people who were suddenly thrust into an unimaginable situation on November 22, 1963 and in the days that followed – the hospital staff that operated on Kennedy, the Secret Service agents sworn to protect the President, the FBI agents who had Lee Harvey Oswald in their grasp, the photographer who filmed the shooting, and the Oswald family themselves.

The movie remembers a time when there was almost universal respect and reverence for the President. Whether that was ever really the case or not, it certainly isn't now. Back then, a photographer could request that the still-frame of a kill-shot remain unpublished to preserve a man's dignity; that would never happen in today's open media and society where it's a constant race to the bottom to be first with a story. 

 

This is a very fast-paced, frantic, gritty look at the President's assassination and its aftermath. It wastes no time. Within the first five minutes of the film, JFK is shot and killed. From there, it switches to Parkland Hospital and then cycles back and forth between the various "people on the ground" who found themselves involved in what instantly became American history.

"Parkland" pulls no punches. In one scene, the President's wife, Jacqueline Kennedy, is seen crying into her hands with her husband's blood all over them. It's a shocking, jarring moment that clashes starkly with the pretty pink outfit she was wearing that day. Famous forever for her photogenic features and elegant style, here she is presented as a mere mortal – a wilted flower withering from the loss of the love of her life.

However, Mr. and Mrs. President are mostly in the background. This particular treatment of the JFK assassination shines the spotlight on photographer Abraham Zapruder (Paul Giamatti), Dr. Charles "Jim" Carrico (Zac Efron, looking too young and scruffy), FBI agent James Hosty (Ron Livingston), Secret Service agent Forrest Sorrels (a weathered Billy Bob Thornton), Lee Harvey Oswald's brother and mother (played by James Badge Dale and Jacki Weaver), and many others (Marcia Gay Harden, David Harbour, Tom Welling, Mark Duplass, Colin Hanks, and Jackie Earle Haley all pop up in smaller roles).

Despite all of the players involved, this is not a character-driven story. We never get to know much about any of these people beyond their direct or indirect involvement with Kennedy. That's okay though, because "Parkland" is simply meant to put us in the middle of the madness, similar to the way "United 93" depicted 9/11.

Two highlights: amusing archival footage of Kennedy deflecting a request to wear a cowboy hat, and Abe Zapruder's eyes growing wide with horror as he sees the moment of death replayed in the footage he shot.

(And for you folks who believe Lee Harvey Oswald didn't do it, the movie dangles a few half-bitten carrots in that direction without ever explicitly supporting or agreeing with those alternate theories: Oswald was caught rather quickly with an almost immediate rush to judgment, his mother insisted he was framed, and his previous dealings with the FBI had nothing to do with Kennedy.)

"Parkland" powerfully demonstrates what it must have been like for the doctors and nurses who operated on – and lost – Kennedy, the emotional impact it had on the photographer who filmed the President as he was being murdered, the agents who had interacted with Lee Harvey Oswald just weeks prior to the assassination, and the toll it took on Robert and Marguerite Oswald as they struggled to come to terms with what happened.

Not a Review: Captain Phillips

My Thoughts on the Movie and the Maersk Alabama Ship Hijacking

By Chris Sabga

Release Date: October 11, 2013 – U.S.

Rating: PG-13

Genre: Action, Adventure, Biography

Running Time: 134 minutes

Director: Paul Greengrass

Writers: Billy Ray (screenplay), 

Richard Phillips and Stephan Talty (book)

Cast: Tom Hanks, Barkhad Abdi, 

Barkhad Abdirahman, Faysal Ahmed, 

Mahat M. Ali, Amr El-Bayoumi

I was extremely hesitant to see and write about "Captain Phillips" for a variety of reasons:

1. I don't usually enjoy this type of movie.

2. I am generally not a fan of its director, Paul Greengrass. The Bourne sequels with Matt Damon worked in spite of him, not because of him. (More on that later...)

3. And the big one: a relative of mine was on the boat, and he's suing the shipping company.

His name is Jimmy Sabga. He was quoted by ABC News: "Captain Phillips did not follow orders, the ship was attacked and he was responsible."

Reports indicate that the captain was warned ahead of time about the possibility of pirates and was told to stay 600 miles away from Somalia; instead, his ship – the Maersk Alabama – was only about 250 miles away.

This is already more interesting than the movie itself!

Once again, Hollywood has fictionalized a true story. But it would be hypocritical of me to hold that against the film, when so many other "biopics" do the exact same thing. For example, "A Beautiful Mind" was roundly criticized because its subject – John Forbes Nash – has a few skeletons in his closet that were nowhere to be found on-screen. It's still a great movie.

Therefore, I'll judge Phillips the film solely by what I saw in the theater and withhold any judgment of Phillips the man.

I've obviously never met Richard Phillips, but I can't pretend that I know Jimmy Sabga either – I don't. (It's a big family, and I always meet new people at our reunions. I don't know them, but they all seem to know me.) Truthfully, I'm probably more familiar with Tom Hanks. Still, I'll openly admit it: I can't help but root for good ol' Uncle J.

Now, about that movie...

I've already expressed my distaste for the directorial style of Paul Greengrass. His camerawork is usually choppy to the point of dizzying nausea. That worked wonderfully in "United 93" about the 9/11 airplane hijacking because it created a necessary sense of chaos. However, it made the action sequences in "The Bourne Supremacy" and "The Bourne Ultimatum" confusing and unbearable to watch. But I have to give credit where it's due: Greengrass has matured considerably as a director. Everything he does in "Captain Phillips" is subtle and serves the situation well. You can almost feel the ship swaying slightly, but he never goes too far with the effect. He doesn't show off. His camera motions are realistic and nuanced.

For a film that's being criticized for turning Phillips into a hero who can do no wrong, he's surprisingly portrayed as, well, quite an asshole.

In one scene, the crew members are chatting with each other and enjoying their coffee. Such camaraderie, I would think, would be encouraged by any half-decent captain. Not Phillips! He gruffly tells them to get back to work. The crew members as essentially depicted as lazy slackers who need the captain to get them in line. It's insulting and ridiculous.

(If this actually happened, Uncle Jimmy is obviously nicer than me, because I would have thrown the captain overboard. Hey, no one takes away my coffee time!)

Later on, the crew yells at Phillips, saying they "didn't sign up for this" – fighting pirates. They didn't. But the captain behaves like an arrogant tyrant and practically bullies them into staying on the ship. Of course, the movie never touches on what Phillips was later accused of in the lawsuit: that he placed them all in that predicament to begin with by ignoring warnings and disobeying orders.

What was hyped above all was Phillips' heroic act – leaving his own ship to go with the Somalians, thereby potentially sacrificing himself for the safety of his crew. I was under the impression beforehand that he willingly put himself in that situation, but the movie presents it as something he was forced to do. I'm not sure how it happened in real life, but the film seems to go out of its way to diminish his big moment of bravery. If the captain realized he screwed up and this was his way of making amends, he deserves credit for acting like a leader instead of following one mistake with many more like most people would. Whatever the case may be, I certainly cannot be critical of what was obviously a very difficult and dangerous situation in real life.

Perhaps they were counting on Hanks's ability to "convey a sense of old-fashioned American decency just by standing in the frame" – as The New York Times puts it – to carry things along. There is definitely no one better at being good than Hanks, but that only goes so far. As we saw in "The Da Vinci Code," even the warm and likeable star of "Forrest Gump" can't save a controversial project many people found offensive for religious reasons. I was offended by "Da Vinci" too. Bad movies offend me greatly!

Make no mistake, "Captain Phillips" isn't a bad movie; it just has issues.

I admire its efforts to present the Somali pirates fairly by examining their dire circumstances and putting a human face on their inhumane actions. But just as the film doesn't quite make Phillips as heroic as it aims to, it goes overboard in the other direction with the pirates. By the end, I found myself sympathizing more with his captors! I don't think that was quite what the filmmakers intended.

Hanks delivers a tremendous performance as the captain in peril, masterfully conveying multiple emotions – fear, anger, hatred, and even concern – sometimes all in the same scene. His four Somalian co-stars - Barkhad Abdi, Barkhad Abdirahman, Faysal Ahmed, and Mahat M. Ali – are absolutely amazing in their own right, which is especially incredible because none of them have ever been in a movie before.

The acting and directing are both superb; any problems "Captain Phillips" has are script-related. In addition to the skewed hero-villain dynamic, the film rarely felt suspenseful to me – despite featuring many big, dramatic moments. Part of the problem, I think, is that it simply feels too long. Granted, I knew the general outcome ahead of time – but that was true of "Argo" too, and that movie kept me on the edge of my seat.

As for Uncle Jimmy, was he even in "Captain Phillips"? Yes! Well, maybe.

Amr El-Bayoumi

Several months ago, IMDB actually included the actual crew members' names for the various actors playing them. That changed somewhere along the way though – maybe because of the lawsuit? Now, they're all listed simply as "Maersk Alabama Crew." Like the idiotic coffee scene, this seems like yet another way to callously diminish their contributions and worth. If anything, the crew members were the bravest because their lives were in the hands of a captain who had already made a bad judgment call. I can't imagine a more helpless feeling.

Luckily, some sites – such as cinema.com – still list the old cast information. Amr El-Bayoumi plays Jimmy "Sagba." (Yes, to add insult to injury, our damn name is misspelled. Thankfully, El-Bayoumi himself has enough respect for the person he's representing: his Spotlight page contains the correct spelling.) I only recall seeing him in a single scene – the one where the crew objected to combating pirates. He valiantly stood up to Phillips. I laughed, I cried, I clapped and cheered. It's a stunning performance that's a surefire lock for a Best Supporting Actor nomination. El-Bayoumi was so convincing as Uncle Jimmy that I felt I was at a family reunion instead of in the theater. Yes, I'm kidding. The actor is decades younger and looks nothing like the man he's portraying, but that's probably par for the course in Hollywood. I certainly won't object if they ever make a movie of my life and decide to have Channing Tatum, Brad Pitt (as long as he doesn't come onto the set with the stoner hairstyle he was sporting in "World War Z"), or George Clooney play me. One must make these sorts of sacrifices in the name of great art.

Overall, "Captain Phillips" is a bit of a mixed bag, but it does succeed in taking the viewer on a journey into the heart of a hijacked ship, its terrified captain and crew, and a group of desperate pirates with pressures of their own back home. 

Review: The Purge

Murder Mass-Marketed

By Chris Sabga

Release Date: June 7, 2013 – U.S.

Rating: R

Genre: Horror, Thriller

Running Time: 85 minutes

Director: James DeMonaco

Writer: James DeMonaco

Cast: Ethan Hawke, Lena Headey, 

Max Burkholder, Adelaide Kane, 

Edwin Hodge, Rhys Wakefield, 

Tony Oller, Arija Bareikis   

For one night, all crime – including murder – is completely legal. That's the alluring premise behind "The Purge," a horror-thriller set in the near-future – 2022, to be exact. The Purge is a law created by America's "New Founding Fathers." Before The Purge, violence and poverty were sky high. Now, crime rates are down to 1%. According to James Sandin (Ethan Hawke), "The Purge saved our country."

Sandin is a security salesman, and his house is fully locked down – with his own equipment, naturally. He's ready for the big yearly Purge.

Most Americans view the "event" with a sort of reverence. Purge Fever is so rampant that entire neighborhoods celebrate by attending "Purge Parties." On TV, psychologists fawn over the health benefits of "purging" bad thoughts from your system. Any deaths incurred on that night are viewed as "sacrifices for your country." Even James and his wife, Mary, treat the idea of "purging" casually. When their innocent son, Charlie (Max Burkholder), asks them about it, they admit they've "never felt the need" to "purge," but their tone and cadence indicate that it would obviously be no big deal to commit legal murder. In their minds, he's too young to understand and remember what the United States used to be like.

Just as we're bombarded with suggestions/warnings to "support our troops," the U.S. citizens of 2022 have been conditioned to support The Purge.

While the film starts off as a wicked satire, there is a constant layer of tension and unease lurking as the audience waits with anticipation and dread for the 12-hour Purge to begin. Two problems present themselves soon after the clock strikes:

1.  On the monitor, young Charlie sees a homeless man (played by Edwin Hodge) outside the house running for his life and begging for shelter. The sweet, naïve boy can't just sit back and do nothing.

2. His teenage sister, Zoey (Adelaide Kane), is secretly dating an older boy/man, Henry (Tony Oller), and the idiot has locked himself inside their house during The Purge because he wants to confront and convince her father to allow them to date.

As the night unfolds, a group of purgers surround the Sandin fortress. They're led by a man in a mask (Rhys Wakefield), who makes his demands known in a very calm but chilling voice.

From there, "The Purge" turns into a full-fledged horror-thriller – as expected. At only 85 minutes, the pace is brisk; there's never a slow, dull moment – or a moment to breathe.

Ethan Hawke once again shows his tremendous acting range. In the "Before" series, he's loose and easygoing. Here, he's uptight and constrained – perhaps because he continually denies himself his yearly "release" allowed by The Purge? Whatever the case may be, his scowling jowl is very reminiscent of Harrison Ford.

The movie isn't perfect though. About midway through, Hawke's character makes the kind of illogical decision that could only happen in a script. In one fell swoop, he morphs from fearful family man to horror movie Rambo. Some of the masks and mannerisms also border on the ridiculous – as if they're creepy just for the sake of it. All of that silliness aside, the "purge" concept is effective and well-executed.

From a psychological standpoint, it is interesting to see the idea of murder so thoroughly examined. For this family, it goes from an abstract positive to a terrifying reality they'll have to deal with for the rest of their lives. Class and financial status are also explored cleverly, with Hawke's rich patriarch commenting off-handedly about their "safe" neighborhood and how lucky they are to be able to afford such top-flight security.

"The Purge" has a few minor issues, but it's the rare example of a horror movie that actually has something to say.

Review: Before "The Blacklist," James Spader Walked the Line Between Good and Bad in "Bad Influence" and "Jack's Back"

Two Interesting Dual Roles Starring a Younger James Spader

By Chris Sabga

On "The Blacklist," James Spader masterfully portrays a mysterious criminal-slash-informant, the morally-ambiguous Raymond "Red" Reddington. As it turns out, he's had some practice. This is far from the first time Spader has had to tiptoe between innocence and guilt. In the spirit of the over-the-top popcorn fun of "The Blacklist," I've picked two films from Spader's large body of work that aren't afraid to be excessive and more than a little bit ridiculous.

Bad Influence (1990)

The premise: a mild-mannered young executive becomes influenced by a dangerous new friend. I went into "Bad Influence" expecting Spader to play the bad guy, with Rob Lowe portraying his pal-in-peril. Instead, the opposite occurs. Being cast against type at the time is likely what attracted both actors to the film.

Michael (Spader) is a mild-mannered executive who can't stand up for himself in any aspect of his life. He's taken advantage of at work by a jerk named Patterson, stuck in a relationship with a domineering fiancée, and bullied at bars – until Alex (Lowe) "saves" him.

You know Michael is an innocent little lamb because he wears glasses – the ultimate symbol of weakness in any respectably cheesy '80s or early-'90s flick.

Under Alex's "bad influence," it isn't long before the meek Michael becomes the swaggering Mick. At first, Alex's friendship seems like a positive development for "Mick." Of course, as the audience already knows, that honeymoon period won't last. Soon, things turn [cue dramatic music] deadly.

Michael would have cowered in the fetal position, but Mick has a slightly better handle on things – thanks, ironically, in part to what he's learned from his "mentor," Alex. It's fun watching Spader's transformation.

The editing is particularly well done. On occasion, we won't be shown certain scenes or actions we're expecting to see. What initially seems like a clumsy cut eventually reveals itself as a deliberate omission to ramp up the mystery and tension.

Still, just about everything that happens is completely illogical. The naivety of Spader's character is astounding. He almost immediately shows Lowe where he lives, even though they're still practically perfect strangers. (Folks, most of my closest friends still haven't been invited to step through my front door!) There's almost no rhyme or reason to any of Spader's increasingly bizarre actions. It's unrealistic and implausible to the nth degree. (I won't spoil any of the major details, but I will say that there's bunny mask somewhere along the way.)

And yet, despite being completely preposterous, the movie still somehow works. It has that certain feel and charm you only get from something made in the '80s and very early '90s. It's no great work of art, but it is a good time!

This formula would be tweaked and refined in the coming years by various Lifetime TV movies of the week (with Lowe himself even appearing in one or two of them).

The fun thing about revisiting the earlier portions of an actor's career is seeing which other future stars turn up. Spader's girlfriend is played by a young Marcia Cross, who seems slightly unhinged even here – a trait she would later perfect in "Melrose Place" and "Desperate Housewives."

But she has nothing on Lowe. It would not surprise me if he was legitimately on drugs like his character during the shoot. He brings a maniacal, Joker-like quality to his role.  

In "Bad Influence," Spader essentially plays a good guy with some shades of gray. For "The Blacklist," the scale seemingly tilts in the other direction. Either way, that type of duality has always been one of the actor's strengths.

Two years earlier, Spader literally played two very different people in the same film: identical twins – one nice and the other "naughty."

Jack's Back (1988)

John Westford is a nice, shy doctor who works at a free clinic. Rick Westford is a former career criminal who hasn't spoken to his brother in two years. Both are played by James Spader.

You know John is a sweet, harmless guy because – here we go again – he wears glasses. Rick has perfect eyesight and a leather jacket. That means he's bad. (Or "naughty" as John would say, because he's too nice to use a stronger word.)

Needless to say, Rick's "tough guy look" was menacing for about five seconds in the mid-1980s before the fashion world moved on and common sense took over. It's dated – but funny – by today's standards.

"Jack's Back" is definitely a product of its time, but that makes it even more enjoyable, not less.

As far as storylines go, this is a pretty good one: 100 years to the day of Jack the Ripper's famous slayings, a copycat killer is going around recreating them down to the finest detail.

The innocent, bespectacled doc is somehow accused of the crime. The only person who can clear him is his chain-smoking, leather-clad, "bad" twin brother.

This is your basic whodunit mystery thriller. There's nothing fancy about it, just good, clean '80s fun. Spader's presence is what makes this one stand out.

Not entirely unlike "The Blacklist's" Reddington, the "tough" twin in "Jack's Back" is definitely more of an anti-hero. Then again, how bad can he really be? He manages a shoe store!

Review: Death Ship

It's Better to Be in the Water

By Chris Sabga

Release Date: March 7, 1980 – U.S.

Rating: R

Genre: Horror

Running Time: 91 minutes

Director: Alvin Rakoff

Writers: John Robins, Jack Hill, David P. Lewis

Cast: George Kennedy, Richard Crenna, 

Nick Mancuso, Sally Ann Howes, Kate Reid, 

Victoria Burgoyne, Jennifer McKinney, 

Danny Higham, Saul Rubinek  

If you go into something called "Death Ship" expecting the next "Citizen Kane," you have only yourself to blame because you're severely lacking in common sense. But there's no better way to celebrate the Halloween season than by popping in a cheap, tawdry, blood-soaked horror flick that's low in budget but high in body-count. 

Movies like this aren't about the acting (which is just good enough) or dialogue (heavy-handed and hokey), but George Kennedy and Richard Crenna make the most of it.

The film begins on a regular cruise ship, captained by Ashland (Kennedy, "The Naked Gun"). He can expertly control a vessel, but he's chilly to his crew and incapable of dealing with the passengers. It's his maiden voyage; he's about to be replaced by his assistant, Trevor Marshall (Crenna, "Rambo"). Marshall's wife and two young children are also on board.  

After a "Poseidon"-like disaster capsizes the cruise-liner, Ashland, Marshall and his family, and a few other crew members and passengers are left to fend for themselves on a rickety raft.

"Help" finally comes in the form of an ominous black ship.

They're all better off drowning right then and there, but since that isn't an option, they climb aboard. It quickly becomes obvious that something is amiss. No one else seems to be on the ship – or are they? Of course, all of this is standard horror movie fare.

It isn't long before the "death ship" reveals two important facts about itself: 1. It's German. 2. It's haunted. Needless to say, a horror movie wouldn't use Germany randomly; it would naturally focus on the darkest period in that country's history. I'll leave you to figure out the rest.

If you only know George Kennedy as the friendly, goofy second banana from the "Naked Gun" series, his role here as a cold, crazed captain is quite a departure for him – and he pulls it off fairly well. Amazingly, Richard Crenna was born less than two years after Kennedy but seems twenty years younger in this movie. Maybe it's just me, but Crenna bears a striking resemblance to Bryan Cranston. (Is the "Breaking Bad" star available for a remake?)

Is it hyperbolic to say that "Death Ship" has the most memorable shower scene since "Psycho"? Maybe, but that is the undoubted highlight of the film and the sequence everyone will walk away remembering.

Even so, "Death Ship" is hardly a great movie – but it is an effective one. It features unsettling imagery, eerie quick cuts, and a spooky soundtrack. However, at times, the editing can be a bit haphazard – as if a connecting scene was chopped out or not filmed at all. The story and action are still easy enough to follow though. This isn't Shakespeare, after all. But I knew what to expect going in – and more importantly, what not to expect.

The moviemaking masters won't be losing any sleep over this little obscure slice of '80s horror, but I can't lie: I had fun.

Review: Much Ado About Nothing (Joss Whedon)

From Buffy to the Bard – Joss Whedon's Post-Avengers Party

By Chris Sabga

Release Date: June 7, 2013 – U.S.

Rating: PG-13

Genre: Comedy, Romance, Drama

Running Time: 109 minutes

Director: Joss Whedon

Writers: Joss Whedon, William Shakespeare

Cast: Amy Acker, Alexis Denisof, 

Nathan Fillion, Clark Gregg, Reed Diamond, 

Fran Kranz, Jillian Morgese, Sean Maher, 

Spencer Treat Clark, Riki Lindhome, 

Ashley Johnson

Joss Whedon takes on William Shakespeare in one of the most fascinating adaptations of the Bard's work. If you're a seasoned "Whedonite," he has assembled a dream team of actors from his other projects: Amy Acker, Alexis Denisof, Nathan Fillion, Clark Gregg, Reed Diamond, Fran Kranz, and Sean Maher will all be familiar to fans of "Buffy," "Angel," "Firefly," "Dollhouse," and "The Avengers." But even if you're not well-versed in the "Whedonverse," his shows are always impeccably cast.  However, going from vampire slayers and space cowboys to the immortal words of Shakespeare himself is a big leap – even for Whedon, who is one of the best writers working on television and in the movies today. How does he fare with a lady so fair?

Whedon's interpretation of "Much Ado About Nothing" is both classical and modern. It's a black and white film that takes place in the present day using Shakespeare's original Elizabethan-era language. It's a strange, exciting combination of elements. But does it actually work?

The first few minutes are admittedly distracting, as familiar faces from Whedon's troupe of actors – such as Clark Gregg and Amy Acker – speak to each other in the famous Shakespearean tongue while wearing contemporary clothing and walking around a Mediterranean-style home. It's a jarring juxtaposition. It takes time to get used to.

Then everything clicks, and you can't help but be swept away by the grand, masterful language and wonderful, endearing performances.

For the uninitiated, "Much Ado About Nothing" tells the tale of two great loves: the quarreling Beatrice and Benedick (Amy Acker and Alexis Denisof) and the young, smitten Claudio and Hero (Fran Kanz and newcomer Jillian Morgese).

Leonato (Clark Gregg) is Hero's father and Beatrice's uncle. Don Pedro (Reed Diamond) comes to visit them, along with two of his officers, Benedick and Claudio.

Don Pedro is embroiled in a feud with his brother, Don John (Sean Maher).

The wicked Don John enlists Borachio (Spencer Treat Clark) and Conrade (Riki Lindhome) for some nefarious trickery.

The services of Dogberry (Nathan Fillion), a bumbling constable, are eventually needed.

Anyone who has ever read or seen Shakespeare knows that the English of 1623 bears very little resemblance to what is written and spoken today. Yet, that challenging dialogue rolls off the tongue effortlessly for all of Whedon's actors. Even more impressively, their facial expressions tell just as much of a story as their words.

Acker and Denisof are especially delightful to watch. They bring a light, playful touch to their bickering characters. One of the highlights of the film is a back-to-back sequence where the two of them sneak around to spy on each other's conversations. In the grand tradition of broad screwball comedies, they dodge, weave, and hide to avoid being seen.

All in all, Joss Whedon and his cast never take themselves too seriously. It's apparent that they're all having the time of their life, and that enthusiasm is infectious. Therefore, it comes as no surprise to find out that Whedon and several of the actors he's worked with – including Acker and Denisof – would gather around to recite Shakespeare in their spare time for fun. After the grueling "Avengers" shoot, Whedon cancelled a trip with his wife – at her urging – to turn those private readings into a reality by finally filming "Much Ado About Nothing." Shot in only 12 days, he called it the best "vacation" he's ever taken.

It's a vacation for the viewer too: a vacation from the usual clichéd drudgery that permeates so many of today's movies.

Joss Whedon's interpretation of "Much Ado About Nothing" is a magical experience that is sure to satisfy everyone from the hard-nosed queen in the balcony to all of the groundlings in the cheap seats.